Scene Writing

How to Write Action Scenes That the Reader Can Feel

Kia Orion | | 10 min read

On July 8, 1918, Ernest Hemingway was eighteen years old and driving an ambulance on the Italian front near Fossalta di Piave. He'd volunteered for Red Cross duty a few weeks earlier, fresh off a train from Kansas City, where he'd been working as a cub reporter. Just after midnight, an Austrian mortar round hit. Hemingway was knocked unconscious. When he came to, he discovered he'd been hit by over two hundred pieces of shrapnel in his lower legs. He said later that the sensation was like being hit by a furnace door swinging open.

That comparison tells you something important. He didn't say it felt like an explosion, which is what it literally was. He didn't reach for the expected language. He reached for a furnace door, something hot and flat and sudden, something you could feel against your skin in a specific way that "explosion" doesn't give you. He was eighteen. He was lying in dirt. And the first thing his brain produced was a sensation translated into something his body already knew.

He carried that instinct into every war scene and boxing match and bullfight he wrote for the rest of his career. In A Farewell to Arms, Frederic Henry gets wounded and describes the experience in fragments: the flash, then the feeling of being outside himself, then the slow realization that his legs are wrong. Hemingway doesn't narrate the violence. He records what the body notices when the mind hasn't caught up yet. You don't get the full picture. You get the sequence of sensations, incomplete and out of order, the way a person actually processes a moment that moves faster than thought.

What Hemingway brought back from the Italian front went deeper than material for war stories. He'd learned how violence registers in the nervous system before the conscious mind gets involved. In real action, the mind doesn't narrate. It doesn't build clean sentences. It catches fragments of heat and sound and position, and only later, sometimes hours later, does it assemble those fragments into a story. Sensation comes first. Comprehension follows, if it follows at all.

That principle sits underneath every action scene that actually works on the page. And it's worth understanding why, because most advice about writing action scenes focuses on pacing and choreography, on the external mechanics, when the real question is something different. The real question is: where does the reader's body go during the scene?

Action Happens in the Body, Not the Plot

Joe Abercrombie writes fight scenes that feel like getting punched. That's a crude way to put it, but if you've read the First Law trilogy, you know what I mean. In The Blade Itself, there's a scene where Logen Ninefingers is fighting in a pit and Abercrombie writes it entirely from inside Logen's body. You get the taste of blood in his mouth and the way his shoulder won't rotate properly after taking a hit. You get his knee buckling, the grit under his palms when he catches himself, the sound of his own breathing which is too loud and too fast.

But here's the technique that makes Abercrombie unusual. In the middle of combat, his characters think about completely irrelevant things. Logen will be in a fight for his life and he'll notice that the sand is a different color than he expected, or he'll remember something somebody said to him three days ago that has nothing to do with the current situation, or he'll think about how hungry he is. Those stray thoughts are the most honest thing in the scene. Because that's what the mind actually does under extreme physical stress: it wanders to absurd places and fixates on trivial details, and it refuses to stay on topic even when the topic is survival.

Most writers, when they sit down to write action scenes, instinctively move the camera outward. They describe what a spectator would see. The sword arcs through the air. The car spins across three lanes. This is choreography, and choreography is fine for movies where the audience literally watches from outside. But on the page, the reader doesn't have a camera. The reader has a nervous system. And the nervous system doesn't care about the arc of the sword. It cares about the vibration in your wrist when the blade connects, the way your vision narrows, the half-thought that you should've eaten breakfast because your arms are shaking.

Abercrombie figured this out. He writes combat from inside the skull, and the skull during a fight is a messy, scattered, undignified place. His characters don't have cool one-liners. They have panic and muscle memory and stupid observations that arrive at the worst possible time. Which is why reading his action scenes makes your stomach tighten. You feel like you're in the fight yourself.

Action scenes live in the body. One prompt every morning to practice writing prose that the reader can feel.

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Precision Makes Chaos Legible

Patrick O'Brian's naval battles in the Aubrey-Maturin series are the opposite of vague. In Master and Commander, when Jack Aubrey's ship goes into battle, O'Brian names everything. The mizzen topsail halyard and the larboard carronade and the bosun's call. The number of fathoms beneath the keel. He gives you the wind direction and the angle of approach, the weight of the broadside in pounds of iron. On first read, you might think this is just technical showing off, a historian flexing his research. But it does something else entirely.

When everything has a name, chaos becomes legible. You can't feel confusion if the writing itself is confused. O'Brian understood that the way to make a reader feel the disorder of a naval engagement was, paradoxically, to be extraordinarily precise about every piece of it. When the mizzen topsail halyard gets shot away, you feel the ship lurch because you knew the halyard was there and you knew what it was holding up. The loss is specific. The chaos has a shape.

This is counterintuitive advice for writing action scenes, but I think it's some of the best advice available. Specificity is how you make action real on the page. Not adjectives or metaphors or increasingly frantic short sentences, but the correct name of the thing that breaks. The exact sound of the thing that falls.

I'm not entirely sure why this works as well as it does, honestly. Maybe it's because the human brain trusts specificity. When a writer says "a rope snapped," the brain registers it vaguely. When a writer says "the forestay parted at the deadeye with a sound like a pistol shot," the brain builds an image and places it in space, assigns it physics. The more precisely you name the world, the more the reader's body believes it's standing in that world, and once the body believes, the action becomes visceral instead of decorative.

O'Brian's trick, if you can call it that, is that he builds the ship in your mind for hundreds of pages before he breaks it. You know the rigging and the decks. You know where the surgeon's cockpit sits below the waterline. So when a cannonball comes through the hull, you don't just know that it's bad. You know exactly where it went and what it destroyed and why that matters for the people standing nearby. The violence lands because the world was already solid.

Violence Reveals Who Someone Actually Is

Dennis Lehane does something in Mystic River that I think about often. There's a moment, without spoiling too much, where a character commits an act of violence, and the way Lehane writes it, you realize that the violence is a window, not the point. It shows you who this person has been all along, underneath the everyday personality, underneath the years of ordinary behavior. The moment of action strips away every social performance and leaves the raw thing, the actual person, standing there with their hands shaking.

Lehane treats violence as a form of character revelation. His action scenes care less about what happens to the body than about what happens to the self. When his characters lash out or make that one irreversible physical choice, the scene answers a question the book has been asking quietly for two hundred pages: who is this person when the rules stop applying?

This is the part of writing action scenes that most craft discussions skip. They'll tell you about pacing (short sentences, sentence fragments, white space). They'll tell you about choreography (make sure the reader can follow who's where). That's all useful. But the reason a reader remembers an action scene ten years later has nothing to do with pacing or choreography. The scene told them something true about a character that couldn't have been revealed any other way.

Think about it like this: a character can say they'd do anything to protect their family, and you nod along, sure, of course they would and then the moment arrives, the actual physical moment when protecting their family means doing something terrible, something they can't take back, and suddenly "I'd do anything" stops being a statement and becomes a question and the way the character answers that question with their body, in real time, with no chance to edit or reconsider, that's the scene the reader carries home with them because it was the first time the character stopped performing and started being.


Writing action scenes that the reader can feel comes down to placement. Where do you put the reader's attention? If it's outside the character, watching the spectacle, you get choreography. If it's inside the body, recording sensation before comprehension, you get something closer to experience. Hemingway figured this out in an Italian field hospital when he was barely old enough to vote. Abercrombie figured it out by letting his characters think stupid thoughts while fighting for their lives. O'Brian and Lehane came at it from opposite ends, one through naming every rope on the ship so you felt it when one snapped, the other through understanding that the real story of a violent moment is what the wound reveals about the person who received it.

Your daily practice can skip the battle and the car chase. All it needs is a single physical moment where a character acts before they think. One paragraph. Let the body go first and the mind catch up later. That's where action lives on the page, in the gap between the thing that happens and the character's belated understanding of what just happened.

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Write a single action, thirty words. Use only verbs and sensations. No adjectives. See what happens.

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K

Kia Orion

Author of The Writer's Daily Practice, the #1 Bestselling book in Journal Writing and Writing Skills. He writes a free daily reflection for writers.

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